By Amy Pelz
“I hated every minute of training, but I said, “Don’t quit. Suffer now and live the rest of your life as a champion.”-Muhammad Ali
As I’m headed into my 8 week point, everything is starting to get a bit out of focus again. I thought I had it all figured out. I had a 3 percent drop in my body fat. I was feeling very energetic during my workouts and I wasn’t letting my mind get the best of me. Everything was going a little too well at that point. A few weeks ago though, I had an episode. I broke down in tears. I hadn’t had enough sleep in the nights prior and by enough I mean at least 9. These days, if I’m not getting that, I’m in trouble. I could feel it coming on that day, the tears welling up in my eyes. It wasn’t that I needed or wanted anything. It was that I just had to have that little breakdown. I had to have that moment of weakness in order to build myself back up again.
From then, I’ve somewhat steadied myself on the path to the competition. I’m learning more about myself including how very sensitive I am in every aspect of this journey. I’ve accepted that things are going to be tough for a little while. I know Bill means well in everything he says and does in coaching me. His criticism is a tough pill to swallow sometimes. At first it stings, but at the end of the day, it’s beneficial to me in every way. This is what I need to get to the finish line. He pushes me harder every day. Bill is teaching me to take my negative energy and turn it into something positive and to use it as my fuel!
I’ve discovered that there’s no in between in the way I’m feeling. My mood swings are to an extreme. I either have a really good day or a really horrible day. Most days are nothing but negative. It’s easy to be this way when you’re caught right in the middle of this war zone. You can tell yourself not be negative, but it just ends up happening again. It’s a process just like my preparation is. Change your mind and your body will follow.
Despite my daily battles though, I go home at night to unveil something positive: my hard earned muscle. It’s a reward in itself. It’s my personal trophy in which I can revel in. It’s so easy to be negative and get caught up in the little things. It would be even easier to give up. But, I can’t give up. I’ve come too far in this journey to even think about that. I’ve immersed myself in this prep and I’m determined to see it through. No matter how tough this gets I have to be a trooper. I didn’t think I’d make it this far, but I have. It might not be pretty, it definitely gets ugly, but I make it work with what I have. Eat, sleep, lift, cardio, repeat: My life for the next 7 weeks before I make my stage debut. Until next time!